Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
