i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
