I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My life is pants optional.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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