The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
