my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
