just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
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Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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