What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
