walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize