he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
