he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
