i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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