party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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