If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
