So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
