Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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