so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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