How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
