Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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