love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
