I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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