how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
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