You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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