I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
