I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
