There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
