this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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