dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
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