Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
