I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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