So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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