So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize