I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
