is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
