I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
