Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
nutella sex= disaster
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
