We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Did I show you my penis last night?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
