do herpes really smell.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Best friends brother. Beat that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it glows. i had to have it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
