I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
