I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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