so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
