I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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