i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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