Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
