Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
