if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I will be naked everywhere
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize