bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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