You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My feet surprised me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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