I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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