Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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