I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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