the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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