It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
