I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
