she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
