I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
