Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
