I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
